My first year as a mum

My son got one year old so we celebrated his very first birthday. I took the time to find a great baby friendly recipe and made his first birthday cake and we gathered together as much as we could in the current COVID situation. It is unbelievable how quick this year has passed. He is such a big boy now, he became so independent compared to that little vulnerable package we brought home from the hospital. There is no better demonstration for the great work we all have done and it is so heart-warming to look at him. He is such a happy boy!

Often I myself have doubts and I feel guilty if I am really doing everything as I should, if I am truly enough. Is it good enough as I love him? Is it good enough as I am around him? Do I show him a good enough example, am I a good enough role model?

Because I clearly know where my weaknesses lay. Sometimes I am impatient and frustrated when I try to finish stuff and I can’t. The other day I totally lost it when I wanted to finish a three minutes long task but I couldn’t as he always happily returned to the plug and tried to unplug the X-mas lights and chew a little bit the cable (the plug is baby proof but still…). And of course it is not his fault, he is discovering the world and wants to touch and taste everything! But when I saw that his father had stopped watching him to do some housework as well and my little explorer returned and returned to the plug my head was just about to explode and I got angry and frustrated that I could hardly finish anything.

We are all well aware of our weaknesses and it is important to know ourselves and see where can we improve but why don’t we focus on the good stuff as well? What are our strengths in life and how can we rely on them?

For example I am proud of my maternal instincts. I can calm my son whenever he gets upset or stop him crying and comfort him. I feel him as if the umbilical cord would still be there between us and I physically feel what he feels and needs. I sometimes ruggle but at the end always manage to ignore all the ‘good’ advices around me and just follow my heart when it comes to questions if I let him cry and if he sleeps alone or with us or how his routine should be and how breastfeeding or weaning should happen.

It is good to make a mental list of our qualities in life in general and as a mum to see how much great skills we have and how many fantastic situations we can recall where we managed to solve or fix something not talking about the hard work mothers accomplish every day to keep the show going.

During this first year my son developed from a new-born to a little independent man. Furthermore, I turned from that insecure newbie mother into a confident and (mostly) balanced mother. We have a special bond between us. I acquired the knowledge of taking care of a baby, feed him, make him sleep and keep him happy and healthy. I feel as if I successfully had obtained my diploma on the University of Motherhood! I got rid of my baby weight and I would say I got fitter than before getting pregnant. I accepted my mummy body with my scar and with the traces of the pregnancy. I learned how to take care of my body with quality food and with regular sport and I follow a healthy diet for two years now. I found time for myself and for my passions and I stopped feeling guilty for it. I learned so much about myself, about my abilities and skills in brand new life situations I never encountered before. I learned a lot about other mothers and how empowering this community can be, how much help and support can be there between women. I gathered all my coaching experiences with my mother experiences and I created a wonderful program for mothers to help them get through the first year of motherhood, get fit again and find their balance into their new life stage.

So if you think on your own experience as a mother, what are your skills you are most proud of? What are your qualities you love most? What were the difficult situations you managed to handle? What are the areas where you definitely feel that you are a role model for your kids? Whenever you feel that you are not enough, just think these questions over and you will see how great job you do as a mother. And above all, remember that no one could love your little ones the way you do.