I would like to share some thoughts about the decisions and the choices we all have in our lives about how to get the most out of our own everydays.
I am having quite difficult days due to a couple of things going on around me. There is a work conflict where I need to use all my leadership and coaching skills to be able to manage it properly, and there are some other things in my life that cause me headaches from time to time. Nothing serious, but still, those impact me all. What could I say? C'est La Vie!
And this is where I need to make conscious decisions about not only my approach but how much I let these things impact me. How much I let these things cover the sun as big fat clouds bringing storms or if I take the decision to breathe, disconnect and see these events from a helicopter perspective where all the landscape is different, all the troubles seems so far away!
One aspect here is the question of expectations. Resilience in life means that we don't have very high, rigid and clear expectations about what will happen in life and how everything needs to be fine and good as if we had a pink filter. That is not real life but a Disney-movie, which I do love, but it is not to be mixed with reality. Real life is messy and there are problems. People are not like you. They act and react differently. And then there are always expected and unexpected tasks as part of adult life that no one enjoys, like having the washing machine fixed, paying the taxes, getting new clothes for the kids, etc.
Life is not a fairy tale, but it doesn't mean that you can't enjoy it. To find happiness, one of the first things is to be clear about our own expectations on life and others. Don't expect things to go perfectly well, because that is not normal. The normal is to have challenges, difficulties, changes, that is just as important part of life as birth and death. The more you accept this, the more resilient you will be in life.
So if there are always challenges, where is the fun part in life?
Well, here comes the question of decisions. Because being stressed, nervous, focusing on negative thoughts, letting our mind wander around things that don't serve us - that is all a decision. Not working on this, not willing to change this: it is a decision.
You might not even think that this could be changed, maybe it never occurred to you. So I would like to tell you now, that you can change everything that is related to your own way of thinking. You can learn to control your mind, you can trick it, and you can draw its attention into great, positive, heart-warming directions.
That is your choice and it will always be within your control.
At an advanced level, you can find joy even in the challenges. What message do these bring to you personally? What is it that you can learn in that difficult situation? What are the positive aspects of a crisis situation that you can take away with you?
So what do I do personally when I have a difficult week, month? I try to take care of myself and do stuff that is good for me. Talk to people who are fun and positive. Socialise. Spend time with my family and switch into kid mode, go and slide down the slide with my son. Go for a walk, go to the gym. Spend time with the work that I love and which energises me. Watch a series.
And keep the distance from the problems, not letting them get under my skin. Focus on what life I have and how much things I am grateful for.
You all know how to relax and get out of your own head when it is needed. So what is the story you tell yourself to still suffer?